Perhaps it’s less about justice and more about healing
Written by Juliana VanderSpek
I have always considered myself a forgiving person, but I have found it increasingly difficult to embrace forgiveness. I assumed that the pains I experienced from those closest to me would fade to a point where I could forgive, but they haven’t seemed to fade.
When we try to manage such burdens alone, we often hold on to resentment towards those who have hurt us. Maybe you find yourself in a similar situation?
Being unexpectedly hurt by those we care about often leaves us confused and lost. Sometimes, these experiences lead to personal growth and increased resilience. Other times, the pain can linger, transforming our anger towards others into anger directed at God. We may question why he allows us to endure such suffering or loss.
Attending a Bible school overseas, I have learned it’s important to recognize God desires our well-being. Where do we get the idea that God starts all the fires? He does not cause our pain or suffering; rather, he promises to make all things new.
Staying rooted in Christ reminds us that even though we walk through painful situations, he has all we need to take the next step. Considering this truth has helped me gradually develop a deeper understanding of how to forgive and love my neighbours more fully.
If we can admit we can’t figure everything out on our own, it can help us rely more heavily on the presence, promises, and character of God. As we grow in our understanding of his nature, we can draw on that to help extend love to others, even when anger threatens to overwhelm us.
If we can admit we can’t figure everything out on our own, it can help us rely more heavily on the presence, promises, and character of God.
Being a Christian does not promise a life without trials. But it does connect us with a higher purpose worth pursuing. And that bigger story God has planned includes the call to forgive.
I once heard a pastor say, “Some things you can’t hold onto without getting burned.” I connect with this so much on the issue of forgiveness. Our hurt burns us when we carry unforgiveness. God in his wisdom encourages us on the path leading to life by teaching us to release our burdens through forgiveness.
It’s common to assume forgiveness requires a mutual exchange consisting of an apology and reconciliation. However, it’s important to understand that those who hurt us may never acknowledge their actions. This realization can fuel our anger, but we must understand such anger can consume us, leaving us exhausted and longing for peace.
Forgiveness requires accepting both our own reality and the circumstances of others, regardless of fairness, and then making a conscious decision to let go. We need to be humble as we seek to understand and love others, despite the reality that we may hold different views that can never fully harmonize.
In my experience this work has proven essential for peace of mind and for maintaining a healthy relationship with God. In choosing to forgive, we free ourselves to experience a more fulfilling and peaceful life.